


Understood is Enough

by girlwithaplan



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nudity, no sexual content but they shower together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 19:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17028342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwithaplan/pseuds/girlwithaplan
Summary: Jay and Carlos have each other and it turns out that’s all they need.





	Understood is Enough

An air horn blasts across the field and that’s it, the game is over. They played hard, but the team from Arendelle played harder and faster. Jay doesn’t really want to look at the scoreboard, but he throws a hand up to shield his eyes anyway. Once they adjust to the blinding sun, his heart sinks. We lost. 

It’s hard to ignore the screams and cheers of the Arendelle fans as he half-heartedly slaps hands with the opposing team. Jay tries to be a good sport and put on a brave face, but he feels his ears grow hot with shame over the loss. He can’t muster a smile at the other team, but he nods as much as he can so he won’t seem like an asshole at least. 

The locker room is quiet as the team files back in and the coach makes them all sit. He’s talking about how well they played and how they have nothing to be upset about. How they tried their best and left the rest on the field. Most of the Auradon kids seem to be taking his words to heart, relaxing a little and nodding along. 

Jay, however, is zoned out completely. He’s staring at his hands in his lap and his brain keeps repeating, It’s your fault. It’s your fault. You’re stupid. It’s your fault. It’s your fault. He wants to pull at his hair and scream and maybe even cry in frustration, but he remains still and quiet. 

He’s focused so hard on berating himself that he completely misses Carlos staring at him from across the room. Carlos knows what that look on Jay’s face means and he’s pretty sure he can guess what his boyfriend is thinking, too. He wishes for a second they’d told anyone besides Mal and Evie that they were dating so he could at least try to comfort Jay.

Since coach is still droning on about losing gracefully, Carlos lets his mind wander to a night last week when he’d been where Jay is now.

~Carlos had been offered a spot in the most advanced physics class Auradon Prep offered and he was so happy to be invited. The work was hard, but he liked a challenge. As midterms crept closer, however, his workload started to get overwhelming. That particular night, he’d been stuck on page one of his research paper for two hours. Two hours. He had written one paragraph in 120 minutes. Carlos felt tears pricking his eyes as he stared at his laptop, so he shut it down and packed up as quietly as he could before he took off back to his and Jay’s room. 

When he opened the door and Jay wasn’t there, Carlos finally did let the tears fall. He was dumb. So fucking dumb for thinking he could take on this class. Such an idiot for crying about a paper. He tossed his bag on the floor and curled up on his bed, muffling his sobs into a blanket. Carlos didn’t hear the shower shut off or the bathroom door creak open, but he did hear a quiet, “Carlos, what’s going on?” and he felt Jay’s hand shake his shoulder a little. 

Even though he was embarrassed, Carlos sat up and looked at Jay, still sniffling and wiping at his eyes. Jay looked ready to fight whatever was bothering his boyfriend, and warmth bloomed in Carlos’ chest at the thought. He could trust Jay. He could tell him what was wrong. 

“I can’t write my research paper,” he explained and his voice sounded pitiful to his own ears. “I tried for two hours and I just,” he felt a new wave of tears coming up and he didn’t try to stop them. “I j-just can’t do it and I feel so dumb.” 

Carlos felt the bed dip as Jay sat down next to him, and he was lifted immediately into his boyfriend’s lap. Jay rubbed his back and rocked him a little as he soothed, “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Shhh, it’s gonna be just fine I promise.”

After a few more minutes of crying it out, Carlos hiccuped and asked, “How do you know it’s going to be okay? It doesn’t feel okay.” Jay sighed and squeezed the back of Carlos’ neck, “I know because you are the least dumb person I’ve ever met.” 

That made Carlos laugh a little and he felt Jay nuzzle into his hair before he continued, “You have two more weeks to write it and if you need help we can find you some help. But what you need right now is a break.” Carlos closed his eyes and pressed his face into Jay’s neck, letting himself take a deep breath and just be still for a few minutes as the last of the panic tremors subsided. He swallowed and sat up so he was looking Jay in the eye. 

“I think you’re right,” he said, reaching up to tuck Jay’s hair behind his ear, “I need a break.” Jay grinned and leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend softly and Carlos hummed happily. 

“Let’s watch a movie,” Jay suggested, “I’ll even let you pick.” Carlos beamed and scooted out of Jay’s lap to go choose what to watch. Jay grabbed the blanket that he knew Carlos liked the best and settled with his back against the arm rest. He watched his boyfriend for any signs he might still be upset, for shaky hands or trembling lips, but Carlos seemed okay. Movie finally selected (Finding Nemo, one of their favorites since they came to Auradon), Carlos sat down on the couch and looked at Jay, his expression so gentle and vulnerable, it surprised Jay a little to see it. 

“Thank you,” Carlos said whisper-quiet as his eyes bored into Jay, trying to pour as much feeling as possible into his words, “I love you so much.” 

Jay yanked Carlos into a hug and replied, “I love you too, C. I love you.” Carlos pulled back from the embrace and kissed Jay soundly, caressing his jaw with one hand and smoothing his hair back with the other. He broke the kiss a minute later and turned around, settling against Jay’s chest as the movie started, so warm and relaxed that he never wanted to move. He wanted to stay always like this, held and loved and understood for what felt like the first time in his life. Carlos didn’t know what he did to deserve Jay, but he was damn well going to keep him. ~

Carlos is brought out of his daydream by Ben clapping a hand on his shoulder and asking, “You doing okay, Carlos?” Carlos nodded and offered Ben a little smile as he moved out of his grip and realized Jay was gone. The rest of the team was still around, the mood lifting a little after coach’s pep talk. Hurriedly, Carlos took off his gear and changed his shoes, intent on finding his boyfriend as quickly as possible. 

Carlos made his way past his teammates to the door, brushing off shoulder pats and ignoring questions as he went. He glanced around the field once he was out, scanning the crowd for familiar long hair. Doug waved him over and Carlos reluctantly jogged in his direction. 

“If you’re looking for Evie and Mal, they left,” Doug said, placing his band equipment back into its case. Carlos nodded and turned on his heel to leave when he heard Doug add, “Oh and I think Jay went back to the dorm. He was heading that way pretty quickly a few minutes ago.” Carlos flashed Doug a smile and took off toward the dorms, hoping he wouldn’t be interrupted again before he made it to Jay. 

Once he arrived and let himself in, Carlos wasn’t surprised to be hear the sounds of the shower running. He figured Jay needed some time to himself so he sat down at his desk to wait for him to emerge. 

Fifteen minutes dragged by since and the shower was still running. Jay wasn’t usually one to take a shower longer than 5 minutes and this one had to be past the 20 minute mark. After debating with himself for a moment, Carlos pulled off his clothes and shoes and slipped into the bathroom. He let the door click shut behind him so Jay would know he was coming in and he stood in front of the shower for a minute, doubting himself. 

“I’m almost done,” Jay said flatly from the shower, “sorry I didn’t mean to hog it.” Carlos shook himself a little and pulled back the curtain, stepping into the shower carefully. Jay was standing under the hot water, hair wet and sticking to his face and head leaned against the tile wall. Carlos had seen Jay truly upset a few times before, but hardly ever as openly sad as he looked right then. 

“What, you just couldn’t wait to wash off?” Jay asked half-heartedly, avoiding his boyfriend’s eyes. Carlos stayed silent and stepped forward, grabbing the bottle of shampoo and holding it up. 

“Can I?” he asked, pouring a generous amount into his hand, looking expectantly at Jay. Sighing, he nodded and sat down on the ledge in the shower. Jay had never really understood why you’d need a little seat in the shower but maybe this was why. Gentle hands pulled his head back and he closed his eyes as he allowed Carlos to massage the shampoo into his scalp and work it through his long strands, untangling as best he could with just his fingers. 

It felt nice, Jay admitted to himself. And when he was prompted by a tap on his shoulder, he leaned his head into the spray and rinsed the shampoo out. Carlos grabbed the conditioner worked it through his hair too, massaging his scalp again and Jay shivered. He didn’t want to relax, would’ve preferred to stay mad at himself, but it felt too nice to have Carlos’ hands in his hair even if he knew he didn’t deserve this kindness. He rinsed the conditioner when he was prompted and Carlos tipped his chin up so they were looking at each other. 

“You ready to talk about it yet?” he asked, thumb stroking Jay’s chin. Taking a shuddering breath, Jay shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Carlos leaned down and kissed Jay’s cheek before straightening up and giving himself a quick wash. Jay let his travel up and down Carlos’ body as he cleaned himself. He definitely wasn’t horny at the moment, but his boyfriend was hot so he let himself stare a little. 

He looked away when Carlos winked at him, listened as he turned off the tap and climbed out around Jay. He offered Jay a towel and Jay finally moved out of the shower, drying himself off and stepping back into their room. He felt Carlos’ fingers ghost over his shoulders as he moved past and pulled out his own clothes and began to dress. Jay felt like he was moving through mud, slowly picking out a shirt and sweatpants and putting them on mechanically. 

When he was finally dressed, he turned around to see Carlos sitting on Jay’s bed, back against the headboard. Carlos patted the bed next to him and Jay sat close to him, but not touching. Carlos didn’t try to touch him again, didn’t say anything at all. Jay was grateful for the quiet, grateful for Carlos not pushing him. They sat together for a few minutes in peace before the sense of failure creeped back into Jay’s mind. You’re a failure, his brain reminded him, the team lost because you’re not good enough. 

Jay whipped his head around to look at his boyfriend who was picking at his fingernails, waiting for Jay to speak. A sudden wave of anger overtook him and Jay bit out, “I’m such a fuck up.” He ran his hands harshly over his face. 

“Why do you think that?” Carlos asked, turning a little to face his boyfriend. Jay huffed out a breath through his nose and asked, “Isn’t it obvious?” Carlos shook his head and Jay snapped, “I’m the reason we lost! If it wasn’t for me you all would’ve won. I let everyone down! I always do this. I’m always a fucking failure!” 

To his credit, Carlos didn’t flinch at the outburst. He knew Jay was angry with himself and sometimes he got loud about it. But he never, ever, raised his voice at Carlos, it was always when he was angry with himself. So he took a deep breath and caught Jay’s gaze, “That’s not true and you know it,” he said firmly, reaching for Jay’s hand. Jay let him take it and made himself take another shuddering deep breath. 

“It’s just,” he started but stopped when he got choked up. He felt Carlos squeeze his hand and Jay couldn’t help it, he let a few tears escape. “Every time I fail, I can see my Dad’s face. I can hear his voice. I can feel the disappointment like he’s right here with me,” Jay admitted, tears still falling. 

“Jay,” Carlos said, rubbing his arm, “ you didn’t fail today.” When he lifted his head and opened his mouth to argue, Carlos held up a hand to stop him, “We just lost. The other team was faster than we were. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just happened. And your dad isn’t here and he can’t judge you anymore.” Jay shook his head and Carlos continued, “You played amazing today. You always do. Sometimes we lose, it’s just a part of the whole sports thing, I think.” 

Jay looked up and met his boyfriend’s gaze, searching his face for any trace of dishonesty, but he didn’t find any. Carlos lifted their joined hands and kissed Jay’s fingers. Electricity raced up his arm from where Carlos’ mouth met his skin and he shivered again. He felt Carlos smile against his hand before he pulled Jay’s hand into his chest and held it with both of his hands. 

He felt a rush of affection for Carlos so strong he nearly cried again. Instead of crying, he scooted over close to his boyfriend and slumped down to lay his head on Carlos’ shoulder. 

“I don’t deserve this,” Jay admitted quietly. Carlos hugged Jay’s arm and rested his cheek on top of Jay’s head. 

“Yeah, you do,” Carlos replied, “there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be comforted.” Jay made a disbelieving noise and Carlos kept going, “Do you feel the same way when I’m upset? Do you think I don’t deserve it?” 

Jay pulled his head up and looked at Carlos, alarmed, “Of course you do,” he promised, “You deserve every nice thing in the world.” 

Smiling, Carlos released Jay’s arm and gripped his shoulders, “Just so you know, I feel the same way about you. I kinda like you more than anyone else in the world.” 

“Just like?” Jay asked, his tone teasing. Carlos pinched his arm and said, “I love you, you dork. I tell you all the time.” Jay smiled a genuine smile for the first time since the game started and replied, “I know, I just like hearing you say it.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes, but he cupped Jay’s face in his hands and kissed him quickly. “I love you,” he said as he moved to kiss Jay’s cheek. “I love you,” he repeated as he kissed Jay’s nose. Jay laughed and Carlos said it again, “I love you,” and kissed Jay’s neck just to feel him shiver again. He pulled Jay down onto the bed next to him and guided his boyfriend’s head to rest on Carlos’ chest. Jay threw an arm across his torso, turning to lay half on top of him, and Carlos curled an arm around Jay’s shoulder to play with his hair. 

“Hey, C?” Jay said, voice soft. “Hmm?” Carlos hummed, eyes slipping closed. 

“I love you, too,” Jay said, squeezing him a little. 

“I know,” Carlos replied and he felt Jay settle against him. I’ll be okay, Jay thought, I’m safe with him. The last thing he felt before he drifted off to sleep was Carlos kissing his hair and he smiled to himself, more content and loved than he’d ever felt.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to follow me on tumblr @girlwithanewplan and let me know what you think in the comments!


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